Domestic violence can leave people feeling isolated, ashamed and unsure where to turn. Butterflies by Grace works to change that by providing practical support, advocacy and a place where survivors can be heard without judgment. In a conversation with Coreaner Price of Families as Allies, founder Eva Jones described an organization committed not only to helping people who are experiencing domestic violence, but also to educating the community about what abuse looks like and how families and friends can respond.
Jones said her work began after the deaths of two young women in 2007—Heather Spencer and Latasha Norman—made her start asking questions about domestic violence. At the time, she said, she did not even know its definition. She began researching the issue and talking about it through her church, eventually organizing a summit. Butterflies by Grace was formally established in August 2010. Jones later learned that her older sister had experienced abuse, strengthening her conviction that people may be living close to domestic violence without recognizing the signs.
Today, Butterflies by Grace provides a range of assistance to survivors and their families. Jones said the organization helps people connect with counseling, accompanies survivors to court, assists with the legal process and, when funding is available, helps with housing, hotel stays and utilities. Its clothing closet provides clothing and toiletries, and the organization also visits shelters to provide meals, speakers and other necessities. Jones described a simple question that guides much of that work: If she had known what her sister was experiencing, what would her sister have needed?
Education and prevention are also central to the organization’s mission. Butterflies by Grace conducts community outreach and works with teenagers around dating violence, an effort Jones believes is important because young people can learn unhealthy behaviors at home and begin to see them as normal. Its monthly Purple Table Talk gives women an opportunity to tell their stories without judgment and discover that they are not alone. Jones said community education matters because shame and judgment can keep people silent for years. Her advice to someone supporting a friend is straightforward: “Listen without judgment.”
Price said that silence is one reason she wanted Families as Allies to highlight Butterflies by Grace during Domestic Violence Awareness Month. “So many women don’t talk about it and don’t tell it,” she said. Some people, she noted, may feel ashamed, may believe abusive behavior is an expression of love or may feel as though they have nowhere else to go. Jones emphasized that supporting a survivor means respecting that person’s choices. She said she would explain when remaining in a situation is dangerous, but she would not simply tell someone to leave a spouse, because maintaining trust can be essential to continuing to offer support.
For Jones, the work ultimately comes back to making sure survivors know that someone sees them, believes them and is willing to stand beside them. Butterflies by Grace recognizes survivors through its annual Shero Gala, but Jones made clear that the organization’s day-to-day mission is not about recognition for itself. It is about showing up in the community and responding to survivors’ needs. Near the end of the conversation, she returned to the message she says she shares again and again: “Love does not hurt.”
For families, friends and communities, Butterflies by Grace offers another equally important lesson: listen, learn the signs and make sure people experiencing abuse know they do not have to face it alone.
